My Halloween Horror Story (The Day My Boob Fell on the Floor)

The year I turned 13 was an extremely weird time for me. I was in the 6th grade and I was trying desperately to be the “cool” kid. I joined the volleyball team, participated in all the school spirit events, had sleepovers, and went on my first date. I wore the short skirts and flirted with all the cute boys. For a short period of time I was the “mean girl.”

Luckily for me, my birthday is in October and my mom was always up for spoiling me rotten so she agreed to let me have the party of the year.

Growing up my mom had this rule that we could go out trick or treating until we were 13 but after that we had to discover different types of fun on Halloween. With that being said I was a frantic twelve-year-old who thought that it was going to be my last Halloween I would ever dress up at. It absolutely had to be EPIC. So my mom allowed me to invite the entire six grade over for a costume party. I gave my costume a lot of thought and when all was said and done I decided to be Bridal Barbie. I will never deny the fact that I am extremely blessed to have a creative, young, and inventive mother. Growing up and even to this day we have a very close relationship. My mom went out and found a blonde wig for me to wear and an old wedding dress that she bought at some yard sale for under a dollar. I get my thriftiness from her too.

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Anyways, she made this three-tiered wedding cake that was Barbie pink and had a “B” on the top tier. Oh, did I mention that my mom was a professional cake decorator. Needless to say everything was perfect. Granted I wasn’t very thankful than because I was a thirteen-year-old snob but looking back now it was wonderful.

My step-dad even brought home some pink flowers for me from. However, I hated him for this “because he embarrassed me at my party.” He came in and kissed me on the check, wishing me a happy birthday and handed me some flowers. Sweet right? Too bad I was such a brat.

Just look at this photo…

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I look so repulsed! My face is saying, “Hell no Step-Daddy back away from the bride!”

What great memories. You can also tell by this photo how “Montanan” my family is.

Just so you all know my step-dad and I are on great terms now and I accept his love because he is great father. I am lucky to have him.

Just look at as now…

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So cute!

Anyways, back to my childhood dramatics.

I am going to rewind the story a little bit to the summer before my 13th birthday. Which was the summer Bud and my mom got married.

At their wedding I received my first dance with a handsome boy who was about to go into the ninth grade. He was a boy scout and a football player… and he asked me to dance! Exciting times. I will never forget that moment because my parents had a big backyard wedding, with a homemade dance floor over what should have been a garden area, and the country sky all around. Just so you know we lived in a large ranch style home with a good chunk of land. So while it was a pretty wedding, it was country themed and they used Harley Davidson colors (black & orange). Yep, that is my parents in a nutshell.

My cousin was the DJ and I remember he played a Meatloaf song. So my first dance lasted for nine awkward minutes (Meatloaf is known for having abnormally long songs.) But, that is all it took for me to “fall in love.” He name was Wes and he was my first BIG crush.

He was the son of a couple my parents worked with. So naturally I wrote his name all over my notebooks and dreamed of what my first kiss would be like. Which didn’t come from him. My first kiss came three years later from some other jock stereo type (see blog My First Kiss.) But Wes was a real gem. I will never forget him because he was raised right and had a heart of gold. We would talk on the phone from time to time and when our parents had parties we would see each other. I am pretty sure he never liked me as much as I liked him. In fact I am pretty sure I begun to annoy him with my “school girl” feelings. Looking back, though, I really don’t blame him. I would have been annoyed with me too.

However, I think he liked me for a little while because when I invited him to my 13th birthday, he showed up. He was a bit too cool for a costume though, after all he was a ninth grader. I bragged for weeks about how my ninth grade boyfriend was coming to my party. He wasn’t actually my boyfriend but when your 13 and in middle school you cannot be trusted with the truth.

I still have the gift he gave me, it was a gold necklace with a blue stone pendent that reminded me of the stone in the Titanic. All of my friends swooned over him. It’s a perfect memory.

Except for one thing. Being that I was bridal Barbie I needed to have big breasts and because I was newly thirteen I wasn’t exactly endowed. So my mom came up with the solution of putting some tube socks under my dress. This fulfilled two things, it made my dress fit better and it gave me Barbie sized breasts.

Well, Wes and I were dancing when the worst thing in the world happened. The tube sock fell out of my dress and landed on his foot. I will never forget his words, “umm, your ah…sock fell out.” AWKWARD! He even bent down to pick it up! So I was like “oh, um thanks…I’m not a stuffer or anything Barbie’s just have big boobs…you know…” Of course the music stopped at that point and everyone at the party heard what I said but before I could do anything about it my mom was shouting at us to smile at the camera.

See…

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Well, the party went on and Wes and I eventually grew apart. My family moved towns (actually to the town he lived in) so we could be closer to my step-dads work. The last time I saw Wes was when he stopped by to invite my parents to his Eagle Scout graduation. My parents weren’t home so I answered the door with Daughtry blaring in the background. I remember that my boyfriend was getting ready to come over so I looked cute and I could tell he thought so too by the way he checked me and my un-socked boobs out. So I guess the last laugh is on him.

Ok, that is a stretch but such is life. Happy Halloween.

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One thought on “My Halloween Horror Story (The Day My Boob Fell on the Floor)

  1. This could be my ultimate favorite post. I so remember those memories like they were yesterday. Bud and I laughed and laughed at the memories and the photos. Thank you. And, I am pretty blessed to have such a great daughter who loves me so much. YOU ARE THE BEST!! And we are both so glad that you have long since grown out of that 13 year old snot stage in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

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