YOU ARE MY WINTER

Dominant red veins in my eye
Slight puff underneath my lashes
I thought of you again last night
I remember what happened
And I live in a world of what ifs
My food is unsavory
Even makes me nauseous
The very thought of you
Makes me so disgusted
I discover a hated so lethal
It injects me like a drug
Muscled and thin
I no longer like the person I have become
Determined to become my master
Realizing that no one can save
Someone who has already drowned
Trapped in the seaweed
I stare out into the oceans blue
My hair floats all around me
You’re staring, fulfilling your fantasy
Degrading me with every second
I’m handcuffed to the bottom
Of your disrespect and I’m still
Letting you stare
Please, see me in your nightmares
I know I see you in mine
Faceless
And I believed you
Like s sheep to the slaughter
You’re beautiful, you’d say
Simple words to get what you want
How could I fall for that?
Stare at myself in the mirror
Nothing is there
I’m past hating myself
This is whole new low
Screams in my pillow
Somehow I am no longer strong
Punches to my shower wall
So broken tears can’t even fall
Unapologetic, you make me feel like
Whorish scum
Use me and throw me out
Infected rats in the alley
Scurrying about searching for a soul
To feed of their vulnerability
And they found me
And now I’m left lifeless
I deserve better than you
Why can’t I see it?
Heavy bricks on my chest
Snowflakes pumping from my
Barely beating heart
Can’t even pretend
Drowning in anger
Lay my monster to rest
Never again
That is a promise

Body-1

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