I feel anxious. All the time. Like I’m constantly stressed out. My heart beats and my pulse raises. Sometimes I get short of breath. I try to be calm and not worry but I feel like all that does is turn my mind off and I am not actually dealing with the problem I’m just shutting it down. When you are out of options what do you do? David is always saying I need to stay calm and trust in God and I do. I really do but I want peace of mind. I’m sick of being the couple people pity. I know it’s not necessary what everyone thinks and I know I shouldn’t care but it’s really hard being the young poor couple when your surrounded my success stories. I feel guilty when I buy a snickers bar or when I spend money that we don’t have. I don’t do it often but I feel guilty when I do. I feel as if I’m choking.
All I can do is take things one day at a time and hope for a better future.