Awkward Things We All Do But Never Talk About

  1. The moment when you accidentally sit on someone else’s pee while at a public restroom. You spend time cleaning yourself up but you secretly feel the need to shower for the rest of the day.
  2. Every time you attend a wedding you think… “Those two are going to have sex tonight.” Try as you might to avoid that thought it’s stuck in your head like gum on a shoe.
  3. Singing enthusiastically in your car as if your the next Adam Levine for Christina Aguilera. Don’t lie, you know you don’t go into work saying, “Man I had a great time rocking out in my car this morning justifying  my inner awesomeness.”
  4. Ladies this is for you… The moment when you have to pull a long hair out of unmentionable places.
  5. When you secretly wish that you would get hit by a car on the way to work. Not enough to kill you or to maim, but to get a couple of weeks off…… at least…
  6. Daydreaming about what it would be like to be the opposite sex
  7. Verbally assault inanimate objects. 
  8. Being irrationally affraid when your in the shower. Spiders are going to get you, someone has broken in and is about to rob you, and man with a knife is about to get you…(Alfred Hitchcock? Psycho?)
  9. Putting your iPod or iPhone on shuffle but skip every song until you pick the one you want. And justify it by claiming you didn’t know what song you wanted to here until it came on.
  10. When you try on clothes in the dressing room, you do a little dance.

Please add to the list by commenting below! i would love to here what funny things you have to say. 

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