Don’t worry Dad the rock with hold the picture still

creepy graveI need to get this out

I’m just not sure what to say

Should I tell you how much it hurt when you left?

How abandoned I always felt?

I realize that it is not your fault

And that there is nothing that you could have

Done to prevent it

However long it took me to realize that

I realize it now

Sometimes I miss you so much

Other days it’s hard to believe you were ever alive

I wonder what you would think of me now

Would you be proud?

Would you still say I was your little girl?

Would you tell me I grew up beautiful just like my mother?

For years I thought

If only I was better, thinner, smarter,

More giving, happier, if I did everything right

You would come back to me

And the nightmare would end

But it was no use

Because I still felt the pain of a thousand knifes

With every pound, mistreated romance, every failure

No matter what I was never going to be good enough

To see you smile at me one more time

Would you be proud, Daddy, would you?

Who would you be now?

Would you be sober?

Would you be single?

The stone never answers

Neither do old photographs

Or the nightmares that bring you back to life

I’ve loved I’ve lost

I’ve lived I’ve learned

I’ve smiled I’ve cried

I felt my heart stop when my life was too much

And I felt it rapidly beat when The Lord held me tight


Nothing really left to say,

I’m in photography school now,

Would you have like that or be disappointed?

I remember how you always believed in me…

Would you believe in me now?

Your son is sad, I’m not sure he has forgiven himself

For the distance he put between you two

But what do I know, more then miles keep us at bay

It breaks me down to see him so empty and angry

Would you know what to say to bring him back to faith?

Did you even have Faith?

Would he even be in this mess if you were here?

Or would everything be worse if you were alive?


So here is a photograph of me

It’s the last time you ever saw me, I was 11

I’ll lay it on you grave with these words on the back…


PS, Today I miss you more than I did yesterday

Sorry for that but I can’t feel this pain everyday

It would be too much to bear…

By the way, I love you still


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