Solitude Cries Wolf

resizedYellow ragged comforter, up to my nose

Head held, edge of soft orange pillow, rested

Stare at nails in the wall, naked of their frames

Tiny darker orange circle, tearstain

Rumble of your snore, dreaded annoyance, now

My most longed for noise

Bright light, kitchen

Red ripe tomatoes, diced

Steam, noodles boiling,

Watch you from the stove, comfortable in your chair

I begged you for mercy and you left me to your splendor

Together yet so alone

Stove flickered flame

Diamond, on my left hand, reflects

I’m no mathematician but this escape equation sounds…

Delightful.

Oven set, broil

Back burner one, high

Front burner one, high

Back burner two, high

Front burner two, high

Honey? I say

Yes. He says

Can I lite a candle? I ask

Angry, he comes

Boiling water, his face begins to sizzle

And I run

Light begins to fade, and

The house on the hill is left in ashes

White, soft, comfort

Oh, I never meant to hurt you,

I must have sneezed

I froze, I choked up

Trouble me in my padded room

But, somehow, I slept

I dreamt of, nothing

Breathe, sweet release

Head tilts, ratted hair over eyes, the tray slides in

Pills, waging my rage

I smile and sing staring your ghost in the eye

I know what I did, but I still look for you to light my heart

I know this hurt,

This sting

A bee-sting of the nightmare you put me through

Can I justify my love for you

Even still

Even now

But people change

Lord knows I’ve been no saint

How do I tell you I’m sorry?

I’m amused, at how you can still taunt me

Your short brown hair covering

Your blue dead forehead

I’m sorry, I say

Then I laugh, because I wonder if am

Paint me a recovery

Take me back to the wedding,

Where white pursued purity

And, roses pled for passion

When you loved me

Princess and price

Trusting in the fairy tale

Of us

Draw me a smile,

I gave you everything

You stole me from me

King on your throne

And I

A slave to your command

Losing the I in individual

A house, a new start,

Erase the decision’s I’ve made

My heart filled with shame

I have my demons
and they all look like you

But, I need

To find a way to love me

We had

A dangerous

Unsystematic love

I close my eyes

And I try to remember

The, us you lost

The love I still wanted

And needed

And you killed

Oiled and arctic,

My fingers twist my matted hair

White around me now perusing insanity

Recover

Your ghost is gone but

The white coat still makes me talk

Says your ugly side brought me here

Rehab, and I asked for a new start,

Granted, released

Sip, Sip, Sip,

Hot coffee

Your replacement is laced with my love, indulging in me

And I know what’s coming

A familiar taste of poison

Smile.

He doesn’t know your blood is on my hands.

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