I found myself staring up at the rain after working all day. For a moment I closed my eyes and just let rain wash over me. I know that sounds cheesy and over stated but it happened and it was a beautiful moment.
I woke up today thinking “today is going to be a good day!” I got to sleep in a little and I thought I had time to sip my coffee before I had to head to work but just as I sat down to take my first drink I realized that today was Saturday. With that realization my mind started to panic. David took the car to work and the next bus wasn’t until 11:50 and having to start work at noon that was not an option. So I rushed to get ready thinking that there was a chance that I could make it to the 11:37 bus but that stop was about a mile walk away. The walk was cold, wet, and icy and with every step I took I got more and more frustrated, I texted my brother and luckily he was free and he took me to work, defiantly my knight in shining armor.
I started work on a low note. Working in retail has taught me a lot about patience and the power of politeness. The honest truth is that I love my job but there are days were I feel so beaten up by rudeness that I feel like I could walk away and never look back. It is hard to understand why people think it is ok to treat people like they are worthless garbage when all they are trying to do is help.
i talked to my manager recently about how I struggle with feeling valued at work and I realized that I am the type of person who likes to be recognized or trusted with tasks. Like today, I was asked to help out in an area that I have never helped in before. It made me feel like I was good enough at my job that I could be entrusted with a new task. It was the best part of my day.
I need to know that I am an asset to the company I work for. I want to learn and grow but sometimes that is a hard goal to achieve. There is a girl I work with that is honestly one the nicest people I know. A sweetheart down to the core. She started working there after me so I have had the chance to watch her grow and it has been really inspiring to watch. She is the hardest worker I have ever met and it challenges me to do more. But, I found that I have these negative thoughts that kill my work experience. I begin to compare and contrast myself to her and once I start doing that my internal jealousy monster kicks in.
All these random thoughts have purpose, I swear it.
Today was one of those days were everything around me was bringing me down, missing the bus, rude customers, my amazing coworker who seems so much better then me, and then it starts to rain. You know, that day you could have lived without having. That was my day today. Even on my lunch break I had to ask the Panda Express lady three times if I could order and once I finally got her to look at me she rolled her eyes. The manager stepped in at that point but it was so hard for me to swallow my frustration and smile.
All this got me thinking to the days when I was a crazy teenager and my perky mother would chant about how happiness was a choice. Little did I know then but she was right.
I need to remember, on a daily basis, that everybody has bad days, no one is better then you nor is the world out to get you. Starting today I am challenging myself to swallow my internal jealousy demons and choose happiness instead of giving into the world’s dark poker game.
Wish me luck!